Many people throughout the world may find themselves raising stepchildren in their lives. There is no longer a traditional family, but an amalgamated one that has slowly evolved. Raising step kids is not as natural as raising your own, and can be very difficult on occasion. To help you out, here are a few tips on how to interact in a more positive manner with your step kids. To accomplish a positive result, you will have to apply these tips while spending quality time with these children.
Your stepchildren will be more at ease with you if you assure them that it's not your plan to replace their biological parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. If you want to side step any resentment on the part of your step-kids, don't try to come across as their new "parent." They must understand that you married their parent and your job is to support your new spouse, especially in disciplinary matters. However, your goal with them is to be their friend. One obstacle that might take some time to work out is being perceived as both a friend to your stepchildren and a person of authority in their lives. It might take a little time to get this balanced out correctly.
It helps immensely if you are blessed with an abundance of patience. This is a vital character trait you will be called upon to exhibit. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. You have to empathize with the child, as they will most likely miss their bio parent, whether they lost him or her through divorce or death. It's very common for a stepchild to resent the new "intruder" into their life. Keep cheerfully and consistently moving forward in your efforts to win your stepchild over, but don't go overboard. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
The next thing you need to consider is communication between yourself and your spouse while raising these children. As with all relationships, there will be times when differences of opinion will arise or things that catch you by surprise.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. When both of you talk to the children, always discuss in private what you're going to say before you talk to them so that you are of the same opinion.
In the final analysis, having a ready-made family will come with it's own set of constraints, different than those experienced by two people who don't have any children when they marry. In today's world, 50% of those who marry eventually get a divorce. Also, many people wait to marry until they are older and, as a consequence, may marry someone who already has children. Whatever the circumstances, many more marriages today begin with one or the other of the new spouses - sometimes both - having children from a previous relationship. Give a lot of thought to the best role you should assume with your new step-kids and remember, it's very important to "go with the flow" and exercise patience in order to succeed.
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