So you want conversation success, huh? Well, don't be surprised to learn that excellent success strategies are quite simple to acquire. You may be excruciatingly bashful, awfully tedious, and stammer to boot, but don't let those things hold you up on your journey to becoming a fantastic conversationalist. We're going to look at some common pitfalls and the best ways to overcome them. If you can keep these four tips in mind, your conversation success is almost guaranteed. Caution 1: Quit looking at yourself Typically, the most interesting topic for any of us to discuss is ourselves. We love talking about the things that interest us, our achievements, or likes and dislikes. But guess what? If you really want to be interesting to others, quit talking about yourself. A wise man once defined a "bore" as "someone who always talks about himself when I want to talk about myself." I guarantee that if you start showing a genuine interest in the folks you talk to, they'll walk away thinking that you're an absolutely brilliant conversationalist. Caution 2: Shut up and listen It's surprising how little talking you really have to do to achieve conversation success. You might think you need a stockpile of pithy proverbs, clever anecdotes and interesting trivia, but really, more often you just need to listen. People love to talk about themselves, and if you can simply listen - encouraging only occasionally with a poignant question or two - you'll be seen as absolutely charming. As your conversation partner talks, questions may come to mind. When there's a lull, ask a simple question to keep them talking. This is a particularly great tip for the very shy. It takes the burden of conversation off of you, while still making you look like an amazingly interesting person. Caution 3: Think before you disagree One of the biggest success techniques I can offer is this: don't argue. This is especially true if you've only just met. You may know all about the topic being discussed, and you may know that the other person is all wrong in their comments and assumptions, but think about it - what do you earn by contradicting? Conversation success comes through making others feel good about themselves. As good as it might feel to set someone straight on a topic, you'll only come across as a know-it-all. If the wrong remarks are hurting no one and causing no real harm, you'll be better off letting them slide. Caution 4: Don't be afraid of quiet Sometimes the conversation will seem to run down, and you might feel a sudden panic or urge to fill the brief silence. Don't fret over the lulls though. A brief pause in a conversation gives you a moment to collect your thoughts and may bring to mind a question or idea that you wanted to present. After all, you've been listening and haven't spoken much. Here's your opportunity to comment on the topic at hand. A well-timed question or comment here can springboard a whole new round of discussion. Caution 5: Don't drag it out Even a great conversation will eventually run out of steam. Don't fret - just know how to exit gracefully. Thank them for the discussion and say goodbye, ending on a positive, upbeat note.
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