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10 Gracie Allen Quotes to Commemorate The Birth of an American Comedian

     July 26th is the day to commemorate Gracie Allen's birthday, and what better way to do it than with some famous Gracie Allen quotes? Of course, we can't be entirely sure when Gracie's birthday was. After all, she would never be forthcoming with it no matter who asked her and it's speculated that even her own husband didn't know exactly when she was born. Of course, it really doesn't matter. Regardless of the exact date, Gracie Allen was one of the most talented women to grace this earth. Here are ten quotes to celebrate that fact.

1. "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. "

2. "Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

3. "Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality."

4. "I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best."

5. "My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old."

6. "This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances."

7. "A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for."

8. "I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water, I simply defrost it."

9. "There's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about."

10. "They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it."

It's not hard to see why comedian George Burns fell in love with her. Charming, witty, intelligent - the list of this woman's attributes could go on forever. We lost a treasure when she passed away. No one can quite deny that she was one of the most entertaining individuals of all time. As the anniversary of her birth (or what we can best guess is the anniversary of her birth) approaches let's celebrate it with these ten Gracie Allen quotes.

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For more funny quotes, check out the popular funny quotes section of, a website that specializes in 'Top 10' lists of quotations in dozens of categories.

Posted on 2008-07-14, By: *

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